December 22, 2009: Week 29 of pregnancy
I’ve always been a listmaker. In the nerdiest way possible, I get excited each year to buy my new yearly planner agenda book. However, all this living in the future makes it very difficult to be in the moment. I’ve tried yoga. I’ve tried breathing exercises. I’ve seen glimpses of ‘being present’ but nothing forces you right into the ‘now’ like being pregnant.
If we travel back to Christmases past, I would have started thinking about who’s getting what in September and would have felt very anxious if I didn’t have everything wrapped up, literally, by November. Fast forward to Christmas now and it’s all very Zen. Sure, I thought about what to give everyone but only as far as my baby brain would allow and certainly not in October, when my sole focus was getting through the day without collapsing. Go to the mall? Nope, I need a nap. Dash off to this or that store now? Nope, I’m swinging by that area on Friday and will do it then. I’m quite enjoying this tra-la-la state of mind. Yes, my gifts are wrapped but not a lick of anxiety and I’m actually looking forward to Christmas!
My new yoga? Feeling my baby kick and knowing this is the only place I need to be right now. Zen.