February 23, 2010: Week 38 of pregnancy
With my due date fast approaching, I've never felt so ugly and un-edgy and hard-done-by. My hubby likened my walking style to that of a freighter, along with fog-horn sound effects. Lovely.
I've been thinking about how the body adapts for pregnancy and how there is a fatal flaw in the design. Why, oh why, if females have been giving birth for bazillions of years, hasn’t evolution sorted out the hemorrhoid thing. It seems so simple. Additional weight in the pelvic/bun region? Strengthen veins and tissues in said region.
Giraffes have long necks; chameleons can change colours. Why can’t I have a hemorrhoid-free pregnancy? I wonder if lions get hemorroids.
I have several genuine but irrational fears surrounding this area:
1. I’m going to push out my lower bowel along with my baby
2. The midwife and obstetric nurse are going to run screaming from the room in horror
3. My hubby will never see me as pretty ever again
I’m a jumble of emotions right now. The overwhelming desire to get this all over with competes with my scaredy-cat impulse to press 'pause.' Any time now, baby, any time.