Monday, July 24, 2017

Even Though I Don't Do it All, I'm Still Enough

Having a child and being someone’s mother is truly an amazing thing. Through the highs and lows, I can honestly say that I am living my best life, and motherhood has made me become the best version of myself.

That being said, living my best self did not happen over night. It actually took a lot of work, a lot of self-reflection, and a lot of acceptance.

As a new mom, it’s very easy to get lost in the noise. In the darkness of sleep deprivation, hormonal imbalances, body issues, and a slew of other delightful effects that might occur post partum, focusing on external pressures and perceived weakness can sometimes overpower appreciating and truly valuing your new-found strength.

Motherhood is confusing, and wading through the flood of emotions can be a challenge. To top it off, there is an enormous pressure to be the “I don’t know how she does it” girl. I remember busting my butt to have that perfectly tidy house for when people came over to visit. I made brownies, and kept my fridge full of goodies. I tried to do my make up, and even my hair; everything I did was faking it in the hopes of tricking people into believing I wasn’t drowning on land.

Then one day, my daughter smiled at me. A real smile, not one of those gassy ones, and I finally stopped and asked myself what the hell I was doing. I realized what an amazing gift I was squandering. In focusing on what I thought were inadequacies, I was wasting what I had; so, I decided in that moment to unapologetically embrace my new life as a mom. I stopped caring about what other people thought of me. I stopped putting pressure on myself to be that picture of perfection moms are made to feel like they need to be.

I threw my hair in a messy bun, and I stopped caring if I wore the same outfit three or even five days in a row because I finally realized that motherhood, especially new momma-hood is all about survival.
Furthermore, I actually started seeing and appreciating the hardships, as well as accepting the simplicities in my day. While there is an enormous pressure to feel like you have to do it all, the reality is you don’t. As a mom, you’re doing enough. Even if all you did today was feed your child, and watch daytime television while they napped away in your arms, you did enough.

There will always be vultures ready to pick you apart which is why it’s so important to find that inner confidence and trust in your abilities. So what if your hair is greasy, your house is a mess, and you just fell face first into the pile of laundry you are too exhausted to fold; at the end of the day, if you could see yourself through the eyes of your child you would know how truly amazing you are.

Your best IS enough, so stop doubting that you are one hell of a strong mother.

Andrea ArEsse resides in Port Moody with her husband and daughter. She is an avid DIYer and fills her days with arts and crafts, themed photo shoots, travel, and exploration. Women empowerment has become a big part of her life since having a daughter, and she has spent the last year writing a survival guide for new mothers that she is hoping to have published in the coming months. Head over to the blog to check out her sassier side of motherhood.  

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