Monday, September 28, 2015

Transformations: Behavioural Challenges and Positive Outcomes

Tantrums. Defiance. Talking back. And lashing out. At what point does it stop being "normal"?  When is it too much?  When children act out excessively, parents can experience feelings of loneliness, anger, guilt and despair.  Some parents will hold these feelings in and hide it from other friends and family members. I know this turmoil all too well. After seeing a very positive transformation in my home, I am eager to share my family’s journey and the remarkable changes that transpired. I am so thankful for the gentle and caring guidance from people like the lovely Julie Romanowski of Miss Behaviour - Parenting Coach and Consultant Services.

For several months, my spouse and I dealt with our daughter’s tantrums, aggression, lying, and a very strong desire to battle for power! Sometimes we had a really good week with one tantrum. Then there would be exhaustive weeks with Ava. Tears were shed. Anger expressed. And lies told. Our home became a negative environment for everyone.

Not knowing where to turn, I reached out to Parenting Coach Julie Romanowski and we connected over email arranging a time to have an initial consultation.  The entire getting-started process was easy and painless leaving me with a positive feeling that our family was now moving in the right direction.

During our scheduled hour long phone call, Julie and I discussed the issues along with our observations, feelings and the subsequent outcomes. Immediately I felt no shame or embarrassment divulging to Julie that sometimes when our daughter’s behaviour was so terrible, I didn’t want to be with Ava. I confided that, at times, I didn’t want to make an effort.

She asked numerous questions and before meeting in person, I felt immediately connected to her. It was refreshing knowing someone understood what I was going through.  I did not feel pressured. With her gentle guidance, she let me take the lead in providing her with the information needed to begin the healing process and restoring general peace in our home.

After our initial phone call ended, I immediately saved her contact information in my smartphone under "Julie My Saviour". I had a friend who understood me. I could say," I don't like my child today!" She didn't judge or think less of me. She didn't laugh at me.  Instead, she encouraged me to let it out, and move on. 

We arranged a time for her to come into our home and meet Ava to review the situation. I counted down the days until she was coming. I felt renewed, optimistic and ready to approach this new beginning.

Julie arrived at our home and started interacting with Ava, It was clear that our daughter trusted her and was enjoying her company.  Julie had Ava participate in a few visual activities, which seemed to have a really positive outcome.  We discussed routines and creating visuals so our daughter could see our "rules or expectations”. We then created tools specifically for Ava.

Julie spoke with her and created a unique bond. I was amazed at how two people could connect so quickly.  We then excused Ava from our conversation to discuss Julie’s observations and recommendations.  She explained how to address her tantrums in order to get the results we hoped for.  Julie left us well-prepared with a ton of knowledge and feeling really positive.

Each day we made small improvements and had some successes. As parents, it's very easy to want perfect results right away. Julie’s encouraging, kind and genuine approach helped to ground me. As a result, I felt determined to look internally to develop skills within and acknowledge areas that needed improvement. 

We had a Friday night phone call that left me with an immense feeling of self-realization and intense awareness, she helped me realize things that I needed to do as a mother and how Ava would learn from me. I realized I had to take the proper steps to show Ava the way.

We saw continuous improvements using Julie's suggestions on a daily basis.  For any parent who feels left behind, lonely, angry and in dire need of reassurance, Julie offers very encouraging guidance.

Her methods are simple, positive and productive.  She works with each family to customize a plan of action and her services are reasonable especially when you consider all that you gain. I encourage parents to check out her website at and follow her on social media for small tips and tricks. 

Julie’s work is truly amazing. It is incredible how she can make you feel about your relationships with your partner – your child – and most importantly, as a caring family-unit!

Janette Shearer is a Mommy Blogger for Vancity Mommy D, wife and mother of six-year old Ava and 8-month old Zoe.  Images Courtesy of Julie Romanowski Miss Behavior- Parent Coach and Consulting Services

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