What not to make my daughter to school

I spent several hours fighting crowds to get my kids new back-to-school clothes. It was an ugly scene out there, but I got what I needed to get and was pretty proud of the amount I got for my budget.

When I got home, I laid out all my son's new clothes on his bed and all my daughter's new clothes on her bed. My son, who is 8, chirped, "Thanks, Mom!" after looking at them for about 10 seconds and then went back to creating Star Wars Lego characters. My daughter, who is 5 and starting kindergarten, on the other hand, looked at every detail of every garment, carefully coordinating the pieces into many and varied outfits. She looked thrilled! So I was thrilled. After all, it ain't easy pleasing an opinionated little fashionista. So I left her to her new wardrobe and walked out of her room.

A few minutes later, I walked back to her room to check in on her, only to find her sitting slumped on the floor with all of the new clothes scattered (as if they'd been thrown) around the room. "Lauren!" I said. "What happened here?"

"Why do you want the police to take me away?" she demanded, with tears in her eyes.

"I don't want the police to take you away," I answered, completely bewildered. "Why do you say that?"

"Because you bought me this shirt with black and white stripes! If I wear it, they're going to take me to jail!" she cried.

Ah, why didn't I think of that? To me, it was a cute horizontally-striped long-sleeve tee. To her, it was a life sentence. I guess wearing the wrong fashion can be a punishable crime after all!